I have read blogs and articles and have heard people say that the first step to happiness or emotional healing is to be transparent and basically tell all. There are times I wish I could reveal all that’s in my heart, but doing so would not necessarily be wise. Sometimes, although not in dangerous situations, but sometimes there are some things that are best left unsaid– at least for the time being or at least publicly. Proverbs 2:11 says, “Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee.” I have shared some things privately and have been very transparent, and it does help to get another perspective.
Having an Asian heritage and since becoming a Christian, I have been taught to help others ‘save face’ or to retain honor. Proverbs 19:11 says, “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”
In our American culture and in our human nature, we try to save our own face and avoid humiliation by blaming another person, making excuses or putting on a façade. While our past did shape us, we do not have to make excuses and let it define us and keep us from changing today. Evan Sanders, author of The Better Man Project said this in his blog post Day (383) – Down the Barrel, “If you get out of your own way…if you refuse to let your past define you and stop trying to live in tomorrowland…the amount of possibility that surrounds you is incredible.” But I digress. Trying to balance between being transparent and being discreet, honoring and loving can be difficult at times, but isn’t it better to use wisdom or at least to err on the side of grace and love?