I have read blogs and articles and have heard people say that the first step to happiness or emotional healing is to be transparent and basically tell all. There are times I wish I could reveal all that’s in my heart, but doing so would not necessarily be wise. Sometimes, although not in dangerous situations, but sometimes there are some things that are best left unsaid– at least for the time being or at least publicly. Proverbs 2:11 says, “Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee.” I have shared some things privately and have been very transparent, and it does help to get another perspective.
Having an Asian heritage and since becoming a Christian, I have been taught to help others ‘save face’ or to retain honor. Proverbs 19:11 says, “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”
In our American culture and in our human nature, we try to save our own face and avoid humiliation by blaming another person, making excuses or putting on a façade. While our past did shape us, we do not have to make excuses and let it define us and keep us from changing today. Evan Sanders, author of The Better Man Project said this in his blog post Day (383) – Down the Barrel, “If you get out of your own way…if you refuse to let your past define you and stop trying to live in tomorrowland…the amount of possibility that surrounds you is incredible.” But I digress. Trying to balance between being transparent and being discreet, honoring and loving can be difficult at times, but isn’t it better to use wisdom or at least to err on the side of grace and love?
Rene Yoshi
Sweet Rains 
January 8th, 2013 at 4:44 pm
I agree. And just like always, your words are a treasure.
January 8th, 2013 at 8:35 pm
Thank you so much, Geo!
January 9th, 2013 at 4:21 pm
I like this
January 9th, 2013 at 4:40 pm
Thank you!
January 9th, 2013 at 4:48 pm
I liked and went away Rene. Then I thought about it and returned to comment. You really have something on your mind and am unsure whether to discuss it here. If you are unsure. Don’t. Ralph xox
January 9th, 2013 at 5:00 pm
Aww, thank you for your encouragement and wisdom, Ralph. I posted this for two reasons. I do have things on my mind I wish I could share in order to possibly help others, but now is not the time. The other reason was to help others consider how much and what they share so they might avoid potential backlash from sharing too much and end up with regret. I think it is especially difficult for women, and although I’m grateful for the openness this generation has been encouraged to exercise and get out of dangerous situations and begin healing, I think in some ways people have gone a bit too far. Does that make sense?
January 9th, 2013 at 5:51 pm
It is very difficult for both men and especially women. I watched a TV program last night about people having major problems from giving away too many details. One girl was having her birthday party and gave all the details on Facebook and 1500 people turned up in her street. I also know now of two bloggers here on WP who had to go private because of past relationship problems. So please Rene, be very careful. xox
January 9th, 2013 at 7:35 pm
Wow! 1500 people showed up? That’s crazy! I do try to be careful. Thank you so much for your concern. ((hugs))
January 9th, 2013 at 8:02 pm
You are tough and got a good head on your shoulders. Just be okay. Okay ? xox
January 9th, 2013 at 8:07 pm
Okay. 🙂
January 10th, 2013 at 3:30 pm
I go with the balance lady Rene. Sometimes and via discernment, another person needs to hear my side–raw, my testimonies, my victories or my failures…only according to James 5:16.
You and your ministry are a blessing. May Father God continue to open up doors of favor. Thank you for sharing. 🙂
January 10th, 2013 at 6:05 pm
Yes, I agree! Thank you for the Scripture exhortation, your encouragement, and blessing! 🙂
January 18th, 2013 at 4:41 pm
I agree. It is difficult to be totally transparent and also to decide whom to trust with they matters of our hearts. I find it can be a blessing to others when you can share and experience but also others can use it to hurt you later if they are angry or not a true friend. I also think we can be harder on ourselves and that talking with God, and also the right person can give us such peace. I was thinking about Lance Armstrong today and how he admitted using dope and also that others were not believing him to be totally transparent, but I thought why do we need to know every detail. He admitted using to cheat, I dont think we need to know all the drugs he took, when, etc… That is between him and God and I pray that God would use his situation to soften his heart. I love reading your blogs. The are an inspiration to keep trying, learning and caring. Thank you! 🙂
January 18th, 2013 at 5:32 pm
I agree we don’t need to know all the details of a person’s sin, we have to be careful who we open up to, and talking with God and the right person can give us such peace. It can help to get another person’s perspective, knowledge and wisdom. Thank you for being a friend I can talk with. ((hugs))